I've decided to
pursue a career as a mortician. This wasn't a recent decision at all, but I'm
going to write a blog about it for a
couple reasons. One, by making a public declaration, I'm verifying to myself
that it's a valid goal and worth pursuing. Two, it is kind of an odd career
choice, and while I don't think it needs to be justified, I've been asked why
I'd want to do that, so I'm going to lay it out and demystify it for myself.
The idea came to me a couple years ago, and while I never really forgot about
it, it went onto the back burner while other things were going on, so I don't
want that to happen again, either.
One of the
simplest reasons I want to be a mortician is that, frankly, it doesn't seem
like a lot of people are suited for it. It's a necessary job, but not many
people can do it. For this reason, as a career, it's very stable. It's a field
that will never go away, will in fact only increase as our population still
only goes up, not down. The money is good. I won't be rich, but I don't want to
be. I'll be comfortable and secure.
It's an honorable
profession. It's time honored; preparing the dead for burial has to be one of
the oldest professions among humankind.
I might rank it: prostitute, priest, undertaker. The line with a religious
figure might be somewhat blurred, as
most burials are still religious ceremonies, I believe. But, in any case, I
would be stepping into a grand tradition stretching back as far back as most
anything in our culture. A mortician can also take personal satisfaction in
their work. They provide a service for people in what is probably one of the
most difficult times in their lives. A well orchestrated funeral can be a
crucial part of the grieving process,
and the mortician plays a major role in making that happen. I would take pride
and satisfaction in that.
Of course,
probably the biggest deterrent to the industry is the job itself: handling the
dead. The physical and emotional toll is
too much for a lot of people. I think I'd be good at this. There's a couple of
relevant quotes I like. First, from
Stephen King's Pet Sematary:
"There's
nothing natural about death. Nothing. You as a doctor should know that."[...] ...he reflected on the last thing she had
said and on the enormity of this difference of opinion, which had gone
undiscovered for so long. Because, as a doctor, he knew that death was, perhaps
except for childbirth, the most natural thing in the world. [...] Even sea
turtles and the giant sequoias had to buy out someday.
And from the philosopher Martin Heidegger:
“If I take death into my life, acknowledge it, and face it
squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of
life - and only then will I be free to become myself. ”
These are close
to some of my personal philosophies. I am very comfortable with death as merely
a fact of life. I am not jaded and cynical, as some coroners and crime scene
investigators become in the face of death. I'm just aware of it as reality.
Death is the second most important thing you'll do, after being born. Circle of
life! I don't mean to be glib, but that really is how I look at life. I support
embracing pain and grief, fully experiencing them as part of being human. Many
cultures around the world practice this, and are healthier for it. Our culture
is stunted in its refusal to squarely face death, to hide from it and ignore
it. Because it's coming for all of us, and everyone we love. I could even see
how some would view that as a dark or even insensitive statement (like Rachel
Creed in Pet Sematary), but it really isn't. It's just an accurate statement.
And I think this world view, this personal philosophy, would suit me well as a
mortician. Another emotional obstacle morticians face is the general public
being put off by their profession. As I've mentioned, this works out great for
me, as I prefer to be alone most of the time anyway. I'm an introvert and not
very social. I keep a few close friends, but of course, a few close friends
won't be bothered by what I do for a living. If my work facilitates that, all
the better.
As to the
physical aspect of handling the dead, I just don't get bothered by things like
that. I guess that's something you're just born with, sometimes, and also
learned to a certain extent, but I could work with cadavers and not be
"grossed out" by them or what have you. Modestly, my professional
demeanor is also quite good and I feel like I could be comfortable and
comforting when dealing with the bereaved, if need be. On a personal note,
while I find human life to be a fascinating spark, the thing, funnily enough,
that makes life worth living, once it has passed, flesh is flesh. That's how I
see it. Our remains are nothing but a collection of bones and organs and flesh,
and I would view their preparation as the art it truly is. I would take pride
in the artistry of my embalming, the presentation of the flesh, each one a work
of art; a work of art for the most critical and most important audience: the
bereaved.
As to how I will
practically make this work: I don't like to discuss my current job much, just
because I don't have much to say and they don't like to be discussed in public
forums, but I work for a large retailer and I can take this job anywhere. It can
support me while I pursue my dreams. There are very few schools in the country that
actually offer a funeral science course, and one of them is, while not right up
the block, close enough to work. It's in Cypress, in southern California. I
will pursue a two year degree here, and look to transfer to the full time
mortuary science program in Cypress. It's close enough that I can come in and
spend time with my daughter on weekends and days off, and it's also just a
stone's throw from Disneyland, so I'm sure she'd enjoy visiting me down there
sometimes too. And, of course, I want to live next to Disneyland.
Once I have my
degree, I would probably move back up into the northern California area and
begin to practice. In large urban areas, trained morticians can operate fully
behind the scenes. They can handle and prepare the dead, and never have to deal
with the bereaved at all. I will hone my craft in this type of environment, and
later in life move far out into a more rural area. In small towns, morticians
have to hang up a shingle and run the whole operation, which is great, because
it plays into two of my other goals: owning my own business and living mostly
alone in a secluded, rural area.
And that's my
long term goal. I think it makes a lot of sense. It's the first long term goal
I've really had since, like, being a wrestler. It feels good. Now I'm just
going to get out there and make it happen.
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