Life experience is an unusual thing. When I was younger, I was very afraid of being boring. Even back then, I was very aware of the lifestyle some people lead, that of going to work, coming home and staring at the TV, then doing it again the next day. Weekends (if you get them, because many working poor don't have days off) you might go to the mall. Is there anything more despairing? To go to the mall as a recreational activity? This all just fell under "boring" to me, but looking back this was clearly a fear of the ennui and hopelessness of the modern condition. I was too young to articulate it. I think most people probably experience something like this. "There must be something better than this."
I'm going to speak primarily of my own experience (white trash), but I think it's probably similar in a lot of circumstances. When you start to realize that life is a sham, when you look at your parents and dread becoming them, I think that's where a lot of rebellion comes from. I don't necessarily need to point fingers, but I and a lot of people I knew were marginalized as bad, troubled kids for simply behaving in the only rational way given the circumstances: nihilistically. I wasn't able to frame this as a legitimate philosophy until years later, but that's really what it was. We lived for the moment with no regard for the future, which is truly nihilistic, because there was no future. We had seen it: the future was nothing. I knew a lot of people whose favorite film was Larry Clark's Kids, and they identified with and wanted to emulate it. That should really tell you something, since that film is a purely cautionary tale, if it's anything (I don't necessarily think it needs an agenda, it can just be a document). The kids who love Kids aren't missing the point, they're getting it better than anyone. Chaos is the only rational response to the lifestyle we are presented with.
Our parents had somehow accepted that life is what it is. It pains me to say it, but most people I grew up around had bad parents. Not always abusive, evil parents (although some did), just very incompetent parents. I feel bad for both sides of that equation. Your life is empty and meaningless, but you've accepted that as the best you can hope for. Your child lashes out and you're totally unprepared to deal with them, because you don't have an answer. "I want something better!" they say. And what can you give them? Nothing. They don't want to be you, because you've failed. I don't think anybody can articulate that this is what's happening, it just manifests as fighting. And it's not really a parent/child thing, it's a culture/child thing. The way we as a society live is wrong and pointless.
I don't want to overemphasize the teenage rebellion aspect of this, because I know teenagers can just be selfish and unpleasant sometimes, and I wouldn't want it to come back to haunt me, since I'm a father myself now. I just think that, while a lot of other things are going on, that's the age in which you first start to realize that life is bullshit. It's not an immature conclusion. Life really is bullshit. The mistake is forcing yourself to forget it. With alcohol, religion, soap operas, video games. Name your cliche. There is more to life than this, and the anger is justified.
To borrow a political analogy, they say if you're not a democrat when you're young, you've got no heart, but if you're not a republican when you're old you've got no brain. This condescending bit of garbage (for the record, no one should be either a democrat or a republican. Politics; now there's a beast that needs slaying) belies something about our culture. Passion is for the young. When you grow up you'll realize that you can't change anything. The best you can hope for is... what? Look down on the generation that comes after you.
Even this is changing. Our system is unsustainable, and you can almost hear the gears grinding to a halt. The generations that came after me, Y and Digital, have become known for their adoption of irony. Caring about something is anathema. Detached disinterest is the rule. Why? Because they're riding a wave that started back in the sixties. The youth back then really cared about things. They tried to change the system. They fucked up. It wasn't all their fault. The system is powerful. But that was the closest this country ever came to true revolution, it was bungled, and then everybody just decided that revolution wasn't possible. Every generation since has tried it and failed again, but they tried it because the system is wrong. Don't forget that. The rebellion is not wrong, the system is wrong. It's wrong, but it's a juggernaut, and it creates this message that if you disagree with it, you're just a stupid kid. Wrong. But it spreads this message and now, the current generation tries to "change the system" (quotation marks very much necessary) while acknowledging that they can't. The whole process has become so perverted as to be self parody.
What next? I can't predict the future. But it's obvious this can't go on. Probably the most important step is to stop listening to what culture and society tell you. It is wrong, your rebellion is justified, and these feeling are not for kids. If you've grown out of them, you've been chewed up, assimilated and taken your place. Stop it. Trying to change the system from within the system will never work. It's like RoboCop's fourth prime directive. Did you think you were an ordinary citizen? "You're our product. And we can't very well have our products turning against us, can we?"
It's not easy. I'm not talking about America or the West or capitalism or anything like that. All of it, every aspect of culture is driving us to suicide. This is a radical view, but it's correct, and I won't dismiss it because it's unpleasant or because all of society and culture is set up to fight it. The future is unknowable. The only way to find it is to start looking. Not everyone is cut out for this. Most will fail. I am cut out for it. I won't fail.
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